There's snow. Which is good if you like the color white, and especially good if you like that combined with a pervading sense of cold that turns otherwise healthy people into lurching, zombie shells. Though admittedly that could also have been some kind of virus.
Just a few days in, the nascent year is soft, jelly-like, fetal. Kind of squirmy, in a way which you're not sure yet whether you find appealing or disgusting.
It can be molded, dear reader.
So, in the spirit of new beginnings, here's some advice we at FireStar Toys have concocted to make this year the best 2010 you'll ever have!*
1. Walk in the fresh air.
2. Adopt a vulnerable species of beetle.
3. Never watch an epic movie starring Brad Pitt.
4. Never put a sock in a toaster.
5. Laugh like you have emphysema, love like you're alone, sing like a partially decomposed soprano, dance like you have a slightly painful verruca on your left big toe (sure, you've made an appointment with the chiropodist, but you went to one as a child [and unpleasant and sharp experience] and you secretly plan to cancel at the last minute), live like a skeleton who's been somewhat reluctantly re-animated for a few weeks to do the bidding of a morally ambiguous necromancer.
6. Save lots of money by using exclusive voucher codes at FireStar!
Because, really, why wouldn't you?
Here's the very special, exclusive to this blog code now:
This code is worth a pretty considerable 10% off anything you buy in January. And, as with all our codes, that includes sales prices.fstblog8885
There are corresponding offers that will be appearing over the next few days for our twitter followers and Facebook fans, so why not check those out, too?
We're planning more exclusive offers for loyal readers, and those willing to give something back in the form of product reviews, so keep checking back for news!
*Guarantee void if time proves to be cyclical.
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